drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
