Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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