I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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