Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
