Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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