Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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