I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
