your room smells of hookers.
And success
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
