Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
