Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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