You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
