Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize