I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
