too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
