cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
