So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
that's an acceptable place to lick
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
