Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
