the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I've blown a few things in my day
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
