Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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