Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
