I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
