I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize