I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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