well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Please don't give away my fajitas
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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