am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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