i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
