like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Floor bacon is actually really good
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
