we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
