You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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