Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
