just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Someone came in the potted fern
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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