just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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