Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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