I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize