He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize