You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
