you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize