do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize