That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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