There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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