if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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