He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
