Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
