did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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