omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
