Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Screwed.edu
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
