you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
