he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
