you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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