I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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