I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
