its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
