Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
this just has baby written all over it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
