I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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