Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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