Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
