Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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