Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
