I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize